Keys in my Fist
by yuuhiuzumaki
Summary: The busty fist fighter. The cute Keyblade master what's not to like? A series of SoraTifa drabbles for the soul. All humor. All love. It's Sora and Tifa, folks.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts I or Kingdom Hearts II

**The Two That Saw Too Much**

It was a sunny day in the Destiny Islands; people were having fun by the beach; there was not a single being of evil in sight and nothing to cloud the sun from giving a good tan to all the men and women on vacation. Ah, yes; it was all fine and dandy. It could not have been better.

Riku was having the time of his life; surfing and eating so much ice cream that he thought that he would explode any second that passed. Ah, the wonders of summer. There were other males and females gathered in the vicinity as well; there were Donald and Goofy, Leon, Cloud, the attractive female ninja Yuffie; who Riku did not mind dressed in a bikini showing so much skin that it was a crime for her to be clad in clothes all the time, albeit skimpy ones.

Ah, yes, Riku loved summer and the sun; the darkness had contributed to that, although when he was with the other hooded people in black, there were perks; you get free and instant travel, unlike Gummi technology. Yes; one whirl of darkness and you'd be anywhere.

Riku looked around from his position on the sandy ground; there were quite a few people missing. Not really; actually only Tifa, Leon and Sora were… he wondered where they were.

They were missing all the sun; the breeze; the vanilla ice cream…

Riku shook his head as he got up from his position and walked over to the ice cream parlour, where he spied a pair of feet sticking out from behind the stand; he walked over to them with two vanilla cones in his hands, licking at one messily.

He looked down and saw that it was none other than Leon, with foam at his mouth. Riku wondered why the brunette was in that situation when he heard a rustling in the nearby bushes… and… moans and groans…?

He peered in and saw the shocking sight, and fainted dead away.

Sora and Tifa stared at their unconscious friend.

'Okay… so I suggest we stop doing this in public?' Tifa inquired to the nude Sora on top of her.

'Are you kidding? The thrill is half the fun!'

A/N: There are plenty more going your way!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts I or II.\

**Do You Prefer Women?**

It was starry outside Merlin's house, and the sky was as beautiful as ever. On the roof, as Cloud's birthday party went on loudly into the night in the house, much to the owner's dismay, two people sat, staring at the sky as the deafening sound of a drunk Leon singing "Simple and Clean" by Utada Hikaru over and over again went on to annoy the Hell out of the attendants of the party.

Sora and Tifa were outside, thinking about many things, namely males and females.

Now, there was a question biting at Sora as he sat, looking at the woman that was sitting next to him, smiling silently to herself. He was tempted to ask, but he felt it was rude.

'You got something on your mind, Shorty?' Tifa started, startling Sora.

As Tifa looked at Sora, he seemed to struggle with himself at restraining to ask that question. Fighting Xemnas was easier than fighting with himself, but there was logic in his words, after all, he did beat Xemnas, that meant that he was stronger and since he was strong it would prove futile to beat his own self. Logic solved; one point for Sora.

'Tifa, can I ask you a question?' he started.

'Go ahead, shoot, fire, whatever…' she gave a series of answers; Sora blinked.

'Promise you won't get mad?'

'What? You gonna ask me my bra size or something?'

'NO!'

'Oh yeah, that's right, you should…'

'_Tifa_.'

'Okay; shoot it my way.'

'Okay, here it goes.' Sora took in a deep breath, 'Do you prefer women?'

Tifa blinked; and followed it up with a surprised expression and thena giggle.

A snigger…

More sniggering, this time with tears in the corners of her eyes…

Howling laughter…

'_Why_?' she managed to say, despite her uncontrollable laughter.

'Well, it's just that I assumed that because of your physical (Tifa giggled loudly when Sora started to blush at this) attributes, and your athletic activities, as well as you showing no affection to any guy I've seen so far I thought that you were perhaps… homo?'

A snigger…

More sniggering, this time with tears forming in the corners of her eyes…

Howling laughter…

'_WELL?_'

A second passed, and Sora soon found himself pinned against the roof by his arms.

A smirking Tifa was above him; he could feel her hot breath over his face. Animalistic in a way, Tifa kissed him roughly, as Sora responded to her actions. A hot moment later, the woman stopped all her movements with a repeated devilish smirk.

'Does that answer your question?'

'Yup.'

Silence…

Sora smirked…

'You know Tifa, I _still _don't know your bra size.'


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts I or II.

**Why They Never Got Together (Interrogation I)**

Leon, also known as Squall Leonhart, was at the age of twenty-seven and still a single man. His good friend Cloud, however, questioned why he never did find a woman after so long. And after his old female best friend Tifa came along, apparently having having wandered from world to world, everyone had thought that Leon and Tifa would get together, despite many, many claims that the reason that they did not have lovers were because they preferred the same gender… it was a question to everyone; _why? Why_? _Why_?

Today, a certain brunette in pink was going to question Leon, whether he liked it or not.

And that would explain why the man was tied to a chair blindfolded and gagged.

'It's no use; he's not responding to the interrogation.'

'Yeah; he must have some kind of defence that guards him from any interrogation.'

'Or maybe it's because you still have not removed that sock from his mouth.'

Silence…

Aerith blushed in embarrassment; Yuffie scratched the back of her head and Cid remained indifferent. It was the usual package of mayhem in threes.

Cid took the liberty of removing the offending object from the scarred man's mouth.

'What's the big idea! All I did was kick that can into the garbage dump!'

'What's he talking about?' Aerith questioned.

'Beats me; we're here to squeeze the truth outta him.' Cid answered.

Leon felt a pair of hands slap onto his knees… hard.

'Alright, Leonhart, we're asking you the questions and you better answer them truthfully.'

'I would have answered whatever you asked if you just removed that bloody sock from my accursed mouth!' Leon shouted into his interrogator's face.

'Alright, where were you at six p.m. of the thirteenth of last month?'

'I was with King Mickey shopping for a gift for Queen Minnie.'

'_Ahem…_' Aerith grabbed attention, 'Wrong question… we're here about _them_.'

'Oh, yeah, sorry.' Yuffie looked embarrassed.

'Just let me ask him!' Cid barked, grabbing Leon by the shoulders, 'Why aren't you and Tifa together, pretty boy!'

'Me and Tifa? Why are you asking me this?'

Silence…

'Curiousity?' Aerith offered.

Silence…

'Okay, straight quiz. Do you think Tifa is pretty?'

'Yes.'

'Do you think she has a nice physique?'

'Yes.'

'Is she sweet?'

'Yes.'

'Would you like to be alone with her in a room with nothing but chocolate syrup and a bed?'

A blush…

Yuffie kicked Cid in the shins as the man began to curse silently, wreathing in pain.

'So, conclusion: you like Tifa but are too chicken to say it to her.'

'No; I think she's pretty good-looking, but I don't _like her like her_.'

'Oh, come on! You just said it!' Yuffie puffed out.

'But she's seeing Sora.'

Aerith's eyes went wide as saucers and Yuffie's jaw dropped low; Cid spit out his toothpick.

'SAY WHAT!'

Far away, two blocks down, in bed, Sora sneezed.

'Man, I must be catching a cold.'

'Hush, the Patient must always be sick.'

'Tifa…'

'Yeah?'

'Why are _you _alwaysthe Doctor?'


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Don't own nuthin' here; just borrowing.

**Intimidation Style Twenty-Three (Interrogation II)**

Kairi prided herself on being always right, even when she did get it wrong. Did that make sense? She had thought that Sora was a very cute boy and she was right. She loved it when she was right, but in the end, she had to admit even to herself that she had only been _a third correct._ Sora was not cute; he was very very very cute; just ask the ladies; even Yuffie thought so.

Then again, Yuffie thought that the monstrosity known as the Heartless was cute, in a way…

And then when that tall and shapely brunette _Tifa Lockhart _came along, she was smitten by those charms, which lead the cute and innocent Sora away from his simplistic relationship with Riku, Donald, Goofy and her and into a whole new world with a grown woman.

Kairi was red with anger for days when she heard the _detailed _whispers.

She hated being wrong, not that she would ever admit to herself that she was, and was now fuming as she slurped her soda in a rather unlady-like way with her puffed cheeks.

And into the bar stumbled three women in black suits with sunglasses.

Upon closer inspection she recognized them as Yuffie, Aerith and Selphie

They saw her sitting at a booth and sat with her; Selphie next to her and Yuffie and Aerith across her, their expressions hidden by the sunglasses that blocked their eyes.

'This is an interrogation; answer truthfully and you don't get hurt.' Aerith threatened.

Kairi gulped visibly; she knew whenever Aerith was dead serious.

'Wh-What do you want from me?'

She looked down to Kairi's pink dress…

'Hey, where did you get that dress? It's so _pink_; I love it!'

'Aerith! We're here to squeeze the truth outta her! Not talk about dresses!'

'But…'

In an instant she looked disappointed, and then gained her serious aura once more.

'Alright, what do you know about Tifa and Sora?' came the first question.

'Um, nothing…'

'SHE LIES!'

Selphie took out her nunchakus, spinning them in a threatening fashion.

'All I know is that they've been at it every night since they got together! Please don't kill me!'

'SHE STILL LIES!' Selphie started again, this time barely missing Kairi's head.

'I'M NOT LYING, BELIEVE ME!'

'Selphie, stop.' Aerith… commanded…?

Selphie stopped.

'Alright, we believe you. Girls, let's leave.'

They exited, leaving a wholly terrified and scarred Kairi.

'Oh no;' Aerith suddenly exclaimed, 'I forgot to ask her where she got that dress; I'm so stupid!'

Silence…

'Selphie, write this down… Intimidation Style Twenty-Three is a failure.'

'Aw, I liked using my nunchakus.'

Meanwhile, in Sora's house, things were getting interesting…

'Rock, Paper, Scissors!'

Silence…

'Damn it, I wanted to play Doctor!' Sora cursed.

'Hah, it's Commando time!' Tifa cheered, 'Put on the Combat Boots!'


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts I or II or even anything Square Enix owns…

**Bikini Shopping**

Nothing and absolutely nothing was going to spoil Sora's day today; it was a special day for him, and nothing was going to take it away, unless it meant being away his right to be called a male of the human species. Sora was going to enjoy today, and he was not going to let anything stop it. Today was the day that him and Tifa were going to go bikini shopping.

And that meant seeing his beautiful girlfriend in skin-tight clothes just showing the right amount of cleavage that would make his blood boil and his masculine side curse at the unfairness of the world for blocking its view of the greatest sight ever.

Nope, nothing was going to spoil today. If something did, he would bash it to within an inch of its life, whatever the form of the intrusion.

Sora walked down the steps of Leon's house, the place that he was staying in for the moment. Sora walked to the kitchen, where the stairs lead to and saw a note on the fridge.

_Gone Fishing with Cid, back at Five_

_Leon_

Sora did not care; he was going _bikini shopping_ with Tifa. The spiky-haired brunette exited Leon's house and saw Tifa outside, already waiting for him in her black attire. She walked over to Sora and they shared a short kiss, and Sora felt the men in the area begin to groan with envy at his luck; he was a lucky bastard, alright.

'Wanna go now?'

'Sure.'

They walked to the store that Tifa had preferred to go to; Jacque's. Apparently, this was her favourite place to shop for swimwear ever since Yuffie had introduced it to her for something besides her custom-made clothes.

They walked in, and as soon as Tifa finished grabbing her pile, Sora's fun began.

_Red backless one-piece._

'Nice.'

'_Maroon two-piece with no overstrap._

'Better.'

_Green one-piece with hole exposing her belly button._

'Yummy.'

_Blue two-piece; tight._

Sora's drool began to hit the floor over and over again. Tifa liked the result.

_White one-piece; simple and sexy._

'Man, I wonder what's under that.' Barely a whisper…

This went on for well over an hour, until…

'Sora, my strap's stuck.' Was heard behind the fitting room doors.

_NO!_

'Wh-What do you mean it's _stuck?_'

'I mean I can't get out of it!' Tifa's voice was heard, 'Come in and help me?'

Maybe the day could be salvaged after all…

Sora heard the unclicking of the door and pushed it, only to be pulled in by a powerful arm and pinned to the wall inside the fitting room… and being kissed by his girlfriend.

He also spied that her bikini top was _missing_.

'I thought it was stuck.' Sora smirked.

'No, not _that _strap…'

Needless to say, noises went on inside for quite some time.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Don't own it, baby! Just borrowing…

**Interview With The Parents**

To put it mildly, Tifa was currently sitting across a table to Sora's parents with her sixteen-year old boyfriend a nervous wreck. There was silence, nothing but the deafening sound of nothing. Tifa had faced everything that she could think of, from Sephiroth in a one-on-one duel to a gigantic heartless machine-thingy that would have squashed her if she moved any slower. She looked to her right and saw Sora taking in nervous gulps of water, as well as the sweat pouring out of his neck. She looked to Sora's father, who wore glasses and looked like a very thin version of Sora with bony cheeks and spiky hair, which was a much darker brown and to Sora's mother, who had given her son her nose and eyes and hair colour.

Tifa was not used to this, as usually the male would visit the female's parents and not the other way around, especially not when asking their parents if they could date their child.

'So, Ms. Lockhart is it?' Sora's father took a sip of his coffee, 'What do you do for a living?'

'I'm one of the Heads for the Hollow Bastion Restoration Project and I own a restaurant.'

'What is the name of this restaurant?' his father asked again, his eyes hidden by the foggy glasses that he was wearing.

'Angelo's. We opened after Sora won us the war.' Tifa continued.

'What war?' Sora's father went on asking the questions; Sora's mother tugged on his sleeve.

'Dear, the one that Sora just returned from? The Heartless Wars?' Sora's mother helped.

'Oh, okay.' Sora's father took another sip from his coffee, 'Sora,'

'Yeah, Dad?' Sora answered, hoping to close the conversation gap.

'What are your feelings towards Ms. Lockhart?'

Sora looked to Tifa and for one intense moment, their eyes met and a short blush arrived.

'Oh, for goodness sakes, Dear, stop intimidating the poor couple!' Sora's mother almost screamed, startling the three people, 'Now, now, Tifa, it's okay.'

'But, Honey, I thought that was the routine? It says so in The Sigmund Fraud Guide On How To Control Your Child's Hormones and Dating Habits.' he indicated a book with a picture of an old man on it.

'Wait, was this the book that I told you not to buy because the price was too good to be true?'

'It _is _a bargain at twenty-five munny.' His wife glared at him before turning to the couple.

'Tifa, Sora, it's getting late; why don't you two go upstairs and have some rest, and remember, me and your father have to wake up very early tomorrow so keep the noise down.'

Tifa and Sora blushed as they headed upstairs to Sora's room.

'Be sure to use protection!' was heard by them from Sora's father.

'DEAR! They're old enough to decide whether or not they want to have children!' Tifa and Sora blushed very hard, lighting their surroundings with a dim red colour, and Sora's mother added with a rather pleading tone, 'But wouldn't it be nice if we had some grandchildren to spoil? I guess that it's just one of those dreams…'

Tifa and Sora were maroon as they sat on Sora's bed.

'Your parents are strange; but a good kind of strange.'

'Yeah, although that grandchildren part is a bit scary?'

Tifa smirked. That meant trouble.

'Wanna try?'


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

_Obstacles_

There were many things that Sora had to get out of the way during his relationship with Tifa, or in one case, things that he had to dodge, roll under, jump over and sway side-to-side. All of this for a woman! It was amazing the things that he had to do for a single woman! The acts he had to perform, and the deeds that had to be done; all of those just for the heart of one Tifa Lockhart.

Leon knew what he was talking about; women were _troublesome_.

But Hell, were they worth it.

Sora had many obstacles during the course of his semi-relationship with Tifa, and if one person went up to him and asked him what they were, he would grimace, pull out a Keyblade, and smash the person; he did _not _wish to relive the experience, even if it was in story format.

The first thing that they had to go out of his way was his height. Sora was short. As in, very short. For some reason, he had not exactly grown to his ideal height; he was currently five feet and six inches tall, and Tifa, his currently shapely girlfriend, was _two _inches taller than him. It vexed him. It vexed him so much. He remembered how awkward it was when they shared one of their kisses, one of their firsts, at Merlin's place. Usually, the woman was the one that stood on her tippy-toes, while the guy leaned down onto their lips. However, in this case, _Tifa _had to lean down and administer the kiss onto him.

Riku's snickering didn't help.

Yuffie's laughter didn't, either.

The next day Riku woke up with bubblegum in his hair; and Yuffie? She's gonna need a new pair of shuriken holsters.

The second thing that Sora had to overcome was the factor of age. He was sixteen, and Tifa was twenty-four.

Awkward, we know.

Tifa was actually the one that had brought it up. And it was one of those morning afters; at her house. Appparently, Tifa had woken up on the wrong side of the bed, and started raving and raving about what they were doing: that it was just plain "not-going-to-work"; she had more experience, and she pointed out that Sora, for all it was worth, should find some young thing to chase. And then, in true heartbreaking style, Tifa let out all the guilt, or the clichés, and everything, and she meant _everything_.

Sora thought it was annoying.

But those white sheets around her shapely form kept him entertained, though.

And before Tifa could say "I'm breaking up with you", Sora pounced.

And Tifa reasoned: what he lacked in age, he made up in bed.

Oh.

Riku had _everything _on tape.

The largest obstacle came in the shape of a big sword, black clothes, earrings, a motorcycle and blonde hair and blue eyes.

Cloud.

Tifa's surrogate big brother.

Bad news.

Sora decided to come clean with everything, and went up to everyone, all of whom were still gathered around one place, and told them all about his relationship with Tifa. Reactions varied; Cid, Yuffie and Aerith just gave knowing smirks, Kairi rolled her eyes, Riku gave a "Woo-hoo!", Leon just smirked and Donald and Goofy just gave smiles at their friend.

Clouds reaction, however, varied by several degrees. It was a look of surprise, which morphed into a smile, albeit a creepy one, and then, he just walked out the door.

And came back in with his huge sword; a frown, and a glare in Sora's direction.

He charged.

Chaos ensued.

And for the next two weeks, Cloud chased after Sora all over Radiant Garden, shutting down _all _escape routes off the world, hog-tying Donald and Goofy and destroying all Gummy Ships within the vicinity.

No escape indeed.

And after those two weeks, Tifa put a stop to their little feud.

They reached a compromise.

Sora would be strapped with a bracelet that would deliver three hundred thousand volts of pure electricity throughout his body if he ever broke Tifa's heart, and Cloud would leave him alone.

Tifa disarmed it within two hours.

And today, Sora sits on the porch, smiling as Tifa's head rests against his left shoulder.

_Women are troublesome_, he decided, _but they sure were worth it._


End file.
